"To immediately damper any comparisons to the NSA, Gillian Christensen, a spokeswoman for the DHS's Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (ICE) stressed that the private company the agency chooses to use will store the data, not the government. Because that makes it so much better.
"The data gathered could also 'only be accessed in conjunction with ongoing criminal investigations or to locate wanted individuals,' and suspects that pose a threat to public safety. Gathering data from license plates would also reduce the time needed to perform surveillance, Christensen said."
Sadly, not from The Onion.